One of my favorite scenes from Roseanne
Dan: Hey, what are you doing down here? What's the matter with your bathroom?
Darlene: Oh, DJ's been in there for like an hour.
Roseanne: Boy, he's just like you, Dan. Why don't you run a newspaper up to him?
Darlene: He's got the door locked and it's like the third time today.
Roseanne: Well, maybe I outta go up there.
Darlene: Trust me, I don't think this is a time that a boy needs his mother.
Roseanne: What are you talking about?
Jackie: Um, I think I know what she's talking about, and I think you know what she's talking about if you just think about it for a minute.
Darlene: Yeah, DJ's finally got a friend that's not imaginary.
Dan: Oh, my God.
Roseanne: You don't know. He could just be brushing his teeth or you know, maybe he's compulsively washing his hands, or maybe it's something totally harmless, like chronic diarrhea.
Darlene: Trust me, he goes in that room 'cause it's the only one with a lock on it, and he's in there for like an hour at a time. Which either means he's really, really good at it or really, really bad at it.
Dan: Oh, my God!
Roseanne: Well, I don't want you giving him any grief about this, 'cause you could traumatize him and turn him into a serial killer or something.
Darlene: Don't worry, how much damage could he do with only one free hand?
